Thank you for all of your prayers and very encouraging comments & notes to us. They are like cool water to a parched Mami & Papi. We appreciate your love so very much.
The update over here:
Unfortunately, I (Julie) slept awful last night. Needless to say, I woke up feeling overwhelmed. Our friend and host's sister Carmenca & neice talked with me & said that all that I described as far as difficulties with the girls is very normal. It was really helpful to talk about and when we were done, my heart felt less sick. They said we are doing a great job and that the children keep saying that they are very happy that we are their parents. Carmenca also took Anji aside and is trying to talk through some of these issues as well - that permanent parents mean rules and schedules, etc, etc. She is an insightful and very kind woman who loves children and the whole family is very pro-adoption. This was very encouraging to us. She is going to continue to go over those lessons with her and I am sure that will help as Anji especially tries to deal with all these changes.
Karl is feeling somewhat improved but still pretty rough as far as his health goes. He's got a big job - keeping kids in line and keeping Mami calm & focused. He is very, very good at his role and I am so proud of him!
The girls gave us a doosie of a time going to bed but they are finally asleep. We will keep working on this and pray that things will smooth out as we all get used to each other.
Tomorrow at 3 pm, we will be going back with the children to ICBF for our appointment. If all goes as planned, we will be moved on from this "Integration" period & onto our court process to work to finalize the adoption.
9 comments:
Hey, Julie,
I'm glad you're getting some help. Do you think there are language barriers that may cause some miscommunication with Anji? I know some of the struggles with our kids, even though I know Spanish, was because I couldn't exactly explain it the right way or didn't know the exact word. Just wondering?!
I'm just "throwing this out there" as something we've done with our boys: we give them a lot of "warning" when changing activities and let them know what's coming up. We have timers all over our house! So, I will tell them, boys, you have 10 minutes to play and then we're going upstairs for your nap. Once we're up there, I set the timer for 10 minutes and I read to them. I then set the timer again and they have 5 minutes to "read"/look at books quietly. Once the timer goes off, they have even learned to put away their own books and I just hug and kiss them and they're ready!
I also don't know if you have the option of separating the kids?! We didn't in Colombia, and didn't when we first came home, but I got to the point where the boys couldn't nap together (at nightime they share a bed, but for naptime, one sleeps in my bed and the other sleeps in theirs).
Anyway, so maybe just prepare the girls for when you're going to transition from one activity to the next. If you can establish a really solid naptime/bedtime routine, they will know better what to expect (I'm thinking you do have a routine, but again, I'm just trying to think of what works best for us!).
With love and prayers,
janine
Karl and Julie,
You're doing great. Don't forget that. Taking on three children at once is a large task, and considering there is also a language difference, you're doing fine. Time will take care of many issues, but more importantly, remember that you don't have to be perfect parents from the start. You'll learn, they'll learn. Just be consistent and don't sweat the small stuff. Love them. That's what you and they need most. We love you guys and look forward to meeting your little ones. We are praying that things will go easier for you. I am confident God has this and every future situation under control. Trust Him.
Love,
Kris McClelland
Hi Karl and Julie! Our family has been praying for you!! We love you all and want to encourage you NOT to become discouraged! None of this takes God by suprise and he will use it for good!
Remember, if you feel ill equipped and overwhelmed about how to handle this new parenting "job", it's OK! GOD DOES NOT CALL THE EQUIPPED,but EQUIPS THE CALLED!!!You are in for one of the most wonderful journeys in life! Yes there will be ups and downs, but you will never trade even those tough times because they will grow your faith and your family as you rely solely on Him. God's hand is at work in your family,.....and we are excited to continue watching how he works! Lots of love, and wishes for no more spiders!!!
Nancie for all the Ham fam =)
Dear Julie & Karl,
We are praying for Karl to be restored to health, all 5 of you to sleep well, and for tomorrow to be a day full of great memory building together. God is so faithful - look to Him to guide you and to give you the wisdom you need to be the parents He wants you to be. We're praying for you.
Nicole
Good luck with your Integration meeting and hopefully you will get a fast court. You guys are doing great! Living in one room with only 1 other person for so long is tough...add 3 more and there are bound to be tensions, especially as the kids test you.
Take advantage of the translator while you have her! She can be a huge help but make sure Anji knows that you guys are setting the rules.
Its a huge task you guys have taken on. It will test you and challenge you, but it will be great and so rewarding too.
Karl & Julie,
Hang in there. I know its tough but we are all praying for you and things will get better. Angelica wanted no part of me for a few days in Colombia (it was so hard) but she eventually came around and by the time we arrived home she was a complete mommy's girl. Your children are beautiful, they look happy and you were meant to be together. Love the updates.
The Willetts
Praying for you all often!!
Dear Karl & Julie,
Stay encouraged--you guys are doing a great job! Remember that God chose to put you all together and He WILL help and equip you through it all as well. Being a parent can be pretty demanding at times, but remember to always feed your mind spiritually so you won't be parenting on a dry tank!
we love you...Phillipians 4:13
Lisa H
www.nogreaterjoy.org
When you get back to the States, you might find some useful resources here. we are praying for you and despite the difficulties, know all will turn out well and you will do an outstanding job.
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