It was after 11:30 p.m. before Anji finally went down to sleep last night. It was awful! We were so exhausted and at our wits end. We had already taken away her doll, bear and blanket so we needed another consequence. Papi simply told her "mas consequences manaña." Well, Papi thought of a good one. Here, juice is served almost exclusively with each meal & the kids are very attached to their juice at their meals. So, we had Carmenca explain firmly to Anji this morning that she would get no jugo/juice today as her consequence for her disobedience last night (an opportunity to remember 3 times today.) She was also told that more naughtiness would mean more consequences and that this is not how a family operates. Her behavior has been satisfactory today minus the girls acting up again at naptime. We had to separate Anji and Claudia and when we did that they both conked out (thanks for that idea, sweet Janine!) They have a long, long ways to go in the obedience, listening, yielding department. Karl and I talked before we passed out last night that these are poignant lessons about our walk with Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Well, the kids are up from their naps now so I will write more later!
Friday, January 25, 2008
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~ Our Previous Journal Entries ~
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2008
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January
(34)
- Second Trip to the Cali Zoo - Day 16
- Wednesday Reflections - Day 15 Together
- FAMILIA ARMSTRONG: 2 WEEKS TOGETHER!
- Day 13 - Clip and Grow
- Day 12 - Moving Out and Settling In
- Day 11 Together
- Day 10 Of The New Familia Armstrong
- Night Watch: Day 9
- Day 8 Together
- Approved - Moving On
- Monday - Improvement
- Sunday S.O.S.
- Day 5 Together: Muy Bien!
- Day 5 Photos
- The Zoo Crew and Much Ado
- Thursday - Day Three Together
- Pictures of Day 3 Together
- Our 1st Full Day Together!
- Mami Y Chicas!
- Andres & Papi
- Mami's 1st Diaper Change Without Papi!
- Enjoying A Treat At the Mall
- View of Cali from Mall
- Tooth Brushing Time!
- Happy Together
- 1st Family Meal Together
- Andres
- Population Explosion
- Adventures In Cali
- Armstrongs in Colombia
- Packing Progress
- Chipping Away At Things
- Busy Beavers
- Power Shopping
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January
(34)
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11 comments:
Thinking of and praying for you guys still...I can't imagine how tough that would be, but know that you are doing a wonderful job and that it will just take a while for that trust and obedience to develop. There are many years and layers of 'stuff' under that, and it will slowly heal. Keep up the praise and the positive attention for the times that obedience happen - even if they are few and far between!! :) I'm so proud of you guys - you are an inspiration.
Hi, Julie,
I am so sorry to hear about your sleeping troubles! Scott and I were talking about it this morning; I was trying to remember how our kids were (I actually remember more problems once we were in the States, moreso than in Colombia) . . . HOWEVER, Scott did remind me that we had many crying fits when we tried to lay down the boys for their naps (how easily I forgot!). Anyway, he did remind me, too, that one of us had to lay down with the boys some days before they would fall asleep (Wendi mentioned that, too!). I was firm about not doing that once we got home (especially at night, I didn't want to be in the habit of me HAVING to be in their bed before they would fall asleep). We've definitely had our moments! Naptime and bedtime CAN both be frustrating at times, even a year later! I hope things get resolved with you guys! Good job with the consequences, too!
And, like Christy mentioned above, positive reinforcement does work wonders! Sometimes it even works to play that off each other . . . I will tell Andres repeatedly that I like how he's sitting, playing, etc., in the meanwhile, ignoring Juancho if he is being bad to get attention.
Ok, I will end my rant of unsolicited advice! We love you and continue to pray for you!!
Just wanted to let you know that we prayed for you in my MOPS group this morning. I mentioned to the ladies in my little group that you are in Colombia right now and we had the privilege of asking the Lord for strength, wisdom, and encouragement for our fellow mommy (and daddy). Also, one of the ladies in my group told me that she was a bilingual teacher, working with Spanish speaking kids - teaching them English. She said she has a lot of resources that you guys can use and/or she would be more than happy to come over and help with language stuff when you get back. So just know that you have friends to help and encourage when you return!! Praying for a good bedtime tonight!
Praying for a peaceful bedtime tonight. Hang in there.
We called some of what you are experiencing the "push - pull syndrome". The child at times wants you very close, other times it feels that they are pushing you away. Your sweet reassurance, and yes, even your consequences and boundaries will give them the security they are looking for.
Praying that you will have wisdom for each moment. (and for sweet sleep)
Hi Guys: I so look forward to checking in with you each day. The amazing thing is that in the midst of your struggle, I am reminded of how much God has accomplished in our home over the last two years. I too had a moment of overwhelming tears while reading the bible to the kids. The verse that did my heart in was Psalm 138. Especially, 7-8: Though I walk in the midst of trouble, Thou wilt revive me: Thou wilt stretch forth Thy hand against the wrath of my enemies(yes, sometimes my children seemed like my enemies!), and Thy right hand will save me. THE LORD WILL ACCOMPLISH WHAT CONCERNS ME! THE LOVINGKINDNESS OF THE LORD IS EVERLASTING! Hang in there. One of the books that was so helpful to us(not Christian perspective but great for adopting the older child) said to make it harder for the kids then for you. Obeying brings blessings disobeying brings consequences. You are just the communicator of the positive or the negative. Take the emotion out of it. They are not fight YOU just trying to get their equilibrium. They think they want to be in charge but in their hard of hearts want to trust that you are strong enough to lead them. I think what you did with the juice was a great example. "You chose this(not getting to bed) this (no juice) is the result. Mom's not going to sweat it!". I'm rambling but just wanted to let you know I think you are on the right track. I think that adopting an older child can be a real challenge but I am confident that when you get to the other side of this you will be amazed by what God has done. Continuing to pray for you guys. Monica
Julie,
I ended up at your post from a link at somebody else's blog. My husband and I adopted from Colombia and I am Colombian myself. I can only imagine how hard it is to go 2 to 5. But without trying to be mean or disrespectful I want to say I would like to hear more about the good things of your children. How they really are: who is funny, who is shy, who is creative. I know nap time is not going great but don't let that be your focus for the day. God Bless
Li
Hi...I'm an adoptive mom to two from Colombia (adopted as infants, they are 6 and 3 now). I stumbled upon your blog. I wanted to give you HUGS and cyber support as I imagine this is VERY difficult for you. Some of the behaviors you are dealing with are VERY normal for the age group of the kids. Try not to be too hard on them now. Also...my kids go to bed at 7 pm every night (yes, even the 6 year old), so I would try an earlier bedtime. They might be having a hard time drifting off because they're OVER tired.
Buena Suerte..and you are SO blessed!
Michelle
Mom to Jake & Sara from Medellin
We are enjoying your pictures and the blog- you are doing a great job! Know that you are in our prayers. Keep on keeping at it, and your perseverance will pay off! By the way, bedtime is a hassle for us with Jake sometimes too! Just stay firm and consistent! Love you!
Christy Fuller
Hi Julie: Just wanted to let you know I have been praying for you today. Hope your day has been great. Monica
Karl and Julie,
Just thinking of the five of you in Columbia always makes me smile (and pray). I love to read about how every day is going there. When you get back to the States and we are having coffee some night (after the kids are in bed)remind me to tell you a really great story about Christian learning to go to bed on his own...you'll laugh:)
We lvoe you guys!
grace and peace,
Kirk
Hi there! Sorry to hear of your struggles but really they pale in comparison to what some others have undergone, so you are blessed in that sense. They seem to be normal kids who are struggling for position while they gain their comfort... but before they reach their stability, they'll try to push as much as they can to see if you'll bend on the rules. Stay firm and stick with what works to achieve the desired results. I know mine go through different phases still where they try to gain a little ground (in fact I currently have all 4 of Karen's dolls, and Fabian's computer for various inappropriate behaviors but I think by day's end they will have earned most all of them back). You just gotta stay firm and know that this marks the way for the future! Hang in there and know that you are blessed with very smart children -- you just have to redirect their ways to more appropriately conform to your family's harmony. Praying for soothing rest to come your way also!
Genece
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